Only Fans

In the sweltering summer of 1969, Edward Fan, a bold immigrant with a dream, founded a store so singular in purpose that its name became legendary: Only Fans. Nestled in Cleveland, Ohio, this one-of-a-kind store sold nothing but fans, each one meticulously crafted by Edward himself. Edward, a man of unyielding resolve and engineering brilliance, single-handedly ignited a fan revolution. With a burning passion for automated blowing and sucking technologies, Edward transformed his obsession into an art form, employing only family members who shared the illustrious Fan surname. The Fans were more than a family—they were a revered institution. During the blistering Cleveland summers of the 1980s, Only Fans became a hallowed pilgrimage site. People flocked from out of state to witness the unrivaled fan collection.

Lines of customers spanned for blocks, and during the winter of 1983, die-hard fanatics braved freezing air, camping out to seize one of the store’s coveted fans. Some were even hospitalized, recounting their blistering ordeal. Then, catastrophe struck. The great fan shortage of 1983 plunged their once-glorious business into chaos. Despite desperate pleas from his exhausted family, Edward Fan’s stubbornness reigned supreme. After a ferocious fallout with George Dyson, co-inventor of the wildly popular Only Fans Big Blow 1000, Edward refused to employ non-Fans. This defiant stance led to the store’s downfall. In the scorching summer of 1984, Cleveland was rocked by the infamous Great Fan Riot. Frenzied and overheated mobs stormed and looted every last fan. The Fan family disappeared, fueling conspiracy theories about their whereabouts.

Adding to the mystery, it’s unclear what happened to George Dyson or if he ever stole Edward’s fan technologies. Despite exhaustive efforts, Cleveland Steamer Press has come up empty in their pursuit of Dyson. Intriguingly, there’s been a dramatic surge in Google searches for “Only Fans” in recent years, leaving many baffled. Purist fan enthusiasts believe it’s a sign of an imminent, triumphant return. In early 2024, a sensational discovery was made. The Fan family’s branded merchandise, thought lost forever, was unearthed in an old shipping container by the famed Cleveland Steamer Press through an anonymous tip. The legacy of Only Fans, once thought extinguished, has been spectacularly re-ignited, with many speculating the tip came from Edward Fan himself. Is Only Fans poised for a triumphant comeback, ready to cool the world one fan at a time?